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Here I sit after much hours of Wikipedia reading and listening to both the lush claustrophobia of Blonde Redhead's 'Misery is a Butterfly' and More Than Life's aggressive and depressing 'Love Let Me Go'. I describe what I listened to because that will 'probably' be the only links of musical relevance in this post (they're both excellent albums too).

Things have been going great lately, perhaps surprisingly. My own cynicism usually is the first layer of doubt in classifying anything as a success but I can't help but feel as if everything is... nice.

I'm a tad impatient at myself for a number of reasons though. First, there's 'Dolorous', yes perhaps it's not going to be the album of the year or decade but I have personal expectations and feel that perhaps I DON'T have enough time to finish the album in time by next week. I don't like rushing work and when it happens it declines in quality.

Second, I want to perform live much more, the problem is getting shows in this local area is very hard and without having a friend in the booking business, it's discouraging. But I hate to use that terminology because it only proves to show that one doesn't have the capacity or effort to succeed in this. So I have to fix this whole thing by the end of the month and hopefully find a balance between being a slacking college student and music.

Lately I've found myself to have been repressing something peculiar, a thought and idea that I'd have for the longest time. You see, there's this romantic view of what life is like for the idols and the musicians whom I adore. Life under that lens is not to say extravagant but rather there is a substance that is more than my own in the everyday life. With all the realities of quasi-adulthood, I had forgotten about that sort of thought process.

I approach this cautiously because I don't want to be left vulnerable to a shock. But perhaps living with this fantasy as a result of working hard and mild optimism is what awaits? I don't know. If it were as easy as saying whatever happens, happens, I'd be good to go.

P.S. Oh the motherfucking STONE ROSES reunited AND Radiohead announced their 2012 tour. Next year will be a good year, let's hope it's for this and ourselves as well.